Following a heated exchange with a group of reporters who he claimed, “just didn’t get it”, Columbus Mayor Michael Coleman took his message to the streets Tuesday morning. He hoped the display would help to educate the public on what his proposed streetcar line is, and more importantly, what it is not.
At the press conference, several writers at local editorial news outlets, The Other Paper and The Lantern, pressed the mayor with questions ranging from, “Why are you proposing to bring back 100 year old technology?”, to, “Do you think all of the trolley bell ringing will disturb downtown residents?”
“It’s not Rice A Roni! Stop calling it a Trolley! It’s not nostalgic!”, he proclaimed as he stormed out of the conference and down the hallways of City Hall. “Why don’t they get it? Why is this such a difficult concept to grasp?”
Utterly confused and frustrated about how difficult it’s been to educate local media outlets about his sleek, modern, mass transit system, he proclaimed, “You want to see 100 year old technology? I’ll show you 100 year old technology!”
He then led the crowd of reporters, staffers, and onlookers to the City Hall parking garage where he proceeded to pull the tarp off of an antique rickshaw. One Coleman staffer, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told XING Columbus that Bill Todd used the rickshaw to carry fares from the Lincoln Theatre to the Lazarus Store for a nickel back in the days leading up to the Great Depression.
Using the rickshaw, Mayor Coleman quickly found a pair of young professionals to carry up High St. into the Short North.
“It was frickin’ blast!”, said Rick Roll, who happened to be in town for a job interview and was one of the lucky pair to hitch a ride. “If it weren’t for the traffic jam, and angry drivers swerving around the Mayor and flipping us the bird, it would’ve been even better! Columbus is totally the place for us.”
He added, “Seriously.”
The Mayor took off at a fast pace, and this fake reporter was proven to be too out of shape to keep up with him. He could, however, be faintly heard above the horns honking in the distance, “it’s not a trolley damnit!”
Happy April 1st!😉